A Great Night of Splashing in the Rain!!

Hey what's up peoples??

So I come to tell you a tale of a world unknown to all those that are not me and my girl. This world we came across last night. It was beautiful, mysterious, and all ours. The rain fell on us so gently, and the water beneath us crept up our legs the farther we walked ever so subtly. It was easy to get lost in this place. It was easy to get lost together in this water world.

Well what do you think of that intro? Cool huh? :P Now for a little elaboration on the occasion.

Yesterday I found myself fortunate and got the pass from my mother to visit my girlfriend. It was raining pretty hard everywhere. Especially near my girlfriend's place since she's closer to the ocean i would assume. Well on my way to her place I got inspired to jump and run around in some puddles from watching all the rain fall down. I don't know about you but I love the rain, at least when I can take advantage of it, and boy could I take advantage of it at her place. I park and when I walk into the parking lot it is practically a swimming pool in there. The water was plenty high to have your fun in, and get a good portion of your pants wet in. Like halfway up your shin.

After getting through that pool I go up to see my girl and we say our hellos, and we kiss, and hug, you know, the usual boyfriend girlfriend stuff. I stay up there for a bit and I tell Ash to come downstairs and splash around in the parking lot with me. She says ok and tells her mom the adventure she will embark on.

We go down and with some rain still drizzling down we splash around in the pond that has over taken the parking lot. It was so much fun, we splashed each other a bit and ran around in the water. We even found a little 'island' that we stood on to get away from the water. Ash pushed me off...I took her with me though. lol :D We spent a good while out there in the rain running around in the water, drowning our clothes before we cut it short so she can go up and continue doing some art work.

We changed out of our drenched clothes (good thing my girl has like a whole wardrobe of clothes of mine that i was able to change into) and then we sat down together and i helped her out with a project she was working on. While I was helping her I actually gave her an idea she can use and will use for one of her assignments! I was so proud of myself when she did a real quick sketch of the idea and figured out she was really going to use it. (My ideas usually aren't to great. That's why I was so excited about it)

But yea, after finishing my little section of her project we spent a few more minutes together and I went on my way back home. I never like the leaving part, it really sucks. Me and Ash were saying it'd be awesome if some tornadoes or something came around and I was stuck there with them for the night. It really would've been awesome, aside from the danger and harsh wind outside of course. Sadly it didn't happen and I got home before 10, but it was still a very lovely night of splashing in the rain. Can't wait to do it again!

I love you! :D

Final page of the chapter!

Hey people. Well babe, since you're the only one that reads this. Our whole argument is over now. It's great news and I'm very happy to be moving forward now after this whole predicament. You see? I told you I'd still love her after this whole ordeal. And she still loves me, very much. :D

Well as I was saying in my other blog, she just wouldn't talk to me. Apparently she just couldn't or didn't want to. She actually said she didn't want to. But yea, I did get an 'I love you' from her which relieved me a bit, but she was still just not talking to me.

After awhile of this whole thing which I hated she finally starts to talk to me. She says we need some time apart..What a lovely thing to say after not saying anything at all right? But she's saying something so I'm going to run with it. After she mentions this we start to talk about it, I tell her that if space is what she needed, then she should've told me from the start. This whole space idea didn't sound to bad to me actually. I mean of course after I knew what she meant by apart. If she meant she wanted to break up for awhile or something that wouldn't have gone down to well for me. But she stated, "I don't need a month. Just a day. Or maybe even just a few hours everyday. Why must we be texting 24/7?" And my answer to that is that we don't have to be, no one is forced to do anything here, besides respect each other which is more like a rule then option, I believe. Plus, if this space is going to help our relationship, then so be it. I only want to be closer with her, I only want to grow to love her more everyday, and I would love the same to happen with her towards me too.

Well moving on with the story. We talked about this space thing, we both became clear of what that space was, and I told her if she needed some space from for a bit, some time to go away and actually miss me, then she can do as she pleases. As conservative as I may be, I don't ever wish to control her. The whole point of sharing her life with me is to be free and happy with me, not controlled by me. She said she needed to be able to breathe, so I agreed that this is necessary.

After saying we loved each other we stopped talking for a bit. She went about her school and getting home to do her work while I..sat around pretty much. lol I wasn't in the mood to work, Iwas still a bit angry with her, or bitter from the whole not talking thing. Well after we did our own thing for like 2 and half hours..yes, I know it doesn't seem like much time at all apart, but it should still count if it felt like a long time right? I think so..Ash texted me back saying hello. 20 min. later she texted me saying she was guessing I was asleep. She was right..lol But then when I woke up from my nap I answered back.

We talked a little bit by text, I was still pretty nonchalant but yea. To my surprise, after texting for a little bit she calls me. It was cut short because I needed a really bad bathroom break, but after that I called her back and we continued to talk for a bit. No we didn't talk for an hour and a half, and we didn't have the best conversation of our lives, but we talked. We were both loosening up again, me from my bitterness of the whole argument, and her from her not being able to breathe and talk to me. She asked me during our conversation if I was happy she was actually talking to me again. I really was happy she came back to me, because it felt like she was gone for that bit of time she couldn't say a word to me. I'm really glad we were able to talk after this whole ordeal and work it out. I just hope from now on she will simply be able to tell me what she needs or what she's feeling instead of completely freezing on. But anyways.

I make her happy!!! After we started talking again or a bit I asked her what was the first word that came to mind when she thought of me. I told her not to think, just spit it out. She said happiness. B) I knew what it meant but I asked her to explain anyways and it meant that besides what I may believe, I make her happy. That made me very happy, I'm glad that besides all of my imperfections, which I have a lot of i think..I still make her a happy girl.

Well that I think puts the cap on this chapter of our lives now. I believe we will simply grow stronger and closer from this, and I am pleased to say we are both very happy with each other and are deeply in love. In love with a passion like no other. We have a good grasp of what love is, and we will strive to make our love as perfect as we possibly can together. I LOVE YOU!

*Side thought- I wonder what the next chapter of our lives will be about..Hmm, I hope it's exciting, and doesn't involve fighting. Unless of course it's a wrestling fight. I don't mind those at all, those are fun. ;D

I don't know

She thinks I was trying to force her to tell me she loves me. I....just don't know what to say anymore. I just wanted to know if she was able to tell me that, I wanted to know how bad she really dislikes me or i don't even know. She won't talk to me about anything. I don't even know what she feels towards me. Apathy, anger, disgust, annoyance, force. I don't know. I never tried to force anything out of her. The last thing I want is something forced, I want her to be able to confront me herself and tell me anything at all herself. But she can't. She can't tell me anything, she doesn't want to tell me anything. I'm lost and I'm not doing very good. I just don't know.

I left her alone now, we're not talking because if I tried to talk to her anymore she's just going to start saying I'm forcing her into, and she will continue to just not say anything to me. So I left her alone to decide what she wants to do, let her decide when she feels she can and wants to talk with me again. I hope that time comes soon. I hope it comes. I wonder when she will read these two blogs I wrote. I don't know anything. I guess we'll see.

Anger

I'm soo freagin pissed man. My girlfriend wanted me to write this blog, so I will write it. Today I was pretty out of it. I was so tired all day today, I don't know why, usually I'm not so tired but today I was. So after a finished school and al my classes i pretty much just went home and slept the day away. I was just so tired. My girlfriend later, at night, when I'm pissed at her, fills me in that that is the reason she was only fine earlier in the day. When she was feeling fine all she was "Because I am" she absolutely refused to talk to me. But what is that? If your upset about not talking to me all day, then why would you go off and refuse to talk to me some more? To me, it is not right. I cared enough to ask repeatedly but she refused to tell me anything. She just didn't care, and I was left there with absolutely nothing at all. So we go on the rest of the night saying absolutely nothing at all. Then out of no where she tells me she's buying hair dye at publix..What am I supposed to say huh? Oh my gosh that's awesome! No!! I'm pissed to no end cause she has refused to talk to me. Don't get me wrong, I do care and wished I could just be like, "That's great babe, you happy with the color?" And talk about the whole thing with her but I couldn't. How could I? I'm mad, I can't just move on to another topic when this one was still going on in my mind.

So as you probably can guess, me not saying anything about her dye made her mad. Go figure. So we start to fight. But during the whole thing it seemed like I was mostly fighting myself trying not to punch a hole in the wall. She just completely treated the argument like it was nothing. She was so apathetic about the whole thing and it made me mad. This whole thing started because I didn't talk to her to much in the beginning of the day, and now that we were at the end of the day, she just refuses to answer me back. Oh and the loveliest part was when I called her to discuss this verbally and she said, "Just because" again, this time right in my ear. It was obvious to me she didn't give a rat's ass about this. She didn't care, her voice was so apathetic and dull. I hated it so much. Why was she doing that to me? All I did was care. Sure I didn't talk with her to much in the day because i was mostly asleep, but is that any reason to not talk to me? Like really? Is that any reason to completely push me aside and push aside everything I was trying to do and everything I was trying to say? I wanted to talk with her so bad man. I wanted her to tell me what was up, why she was feeling the way she was. I only wanted her to care enough to answer me back and not be fresh with me. Telling me that I don't care or telling something else simply to attack me personally. I wanted to discuss this problem. I tried so hard. I'm a guy, so it's hard to humble myself down sometimes but I was down, and I was desperate for her to say something. To change her tone and take me seriously and answer me. But she never did. I'm so empty right now I'm just babbling on now.

I didn't deserve that treatment, I know I didn't. I deserved a discussion, an argument about this. I did nothing but try to get her to speak, to say something to me after the whole dye thing that wasn't 'mhm' 'weren't you going to go?' 'just because' 'yea' stupid shit like that. I've poured out everything here. I feel what happened was unjustified. I feel like an old man now, hunched over with no words left to say. I called her, and that's something special when it happens because i know I usually don't, but she didn't care. Even after so late she has decided to keep to herself, give me nothing but smart ass remarks against me, show me no concern or care about me or what I was saying, show me nothing but pure apathy, and lastly above all deny my 'I love you'

Yes I'm pissed at her, yes I want to punch a wall or break my phone at this moment, yes I feel she went about this completely wrong, yes I feel she wasn't acting right towards me, but I love her above everything. At this moment she has been apathetic towards me and been a pain more then anything else. But I love her very much. Before this happened I loved her and after this is finished I will still love her.

She wanted me to write this so I did, I poured out my heart and what i thought about this whole thing. It was not right, and wrong on her part to freagin push me aside like that. That is where I stand. I want to talk with her, but I'm not going to talk with her if she refuses to, and gives me that shitty apathy. That tone of voice and attitude she used with me will stick with me all night, I may even dream about it. We'll see.

I like to forgive and forget, but not this time.