Final page of the chapter!

Hey people. Well babe, since you're the only one that reads this. Our whole argument is over now. It's great news and I'm very happy to be moving forward now after this whole predicament. You see? I told you I'd still love her after this whole ordeal. And she still loves me, very much. :D

Well as I was saying in my other blog, she just wouldn't talk to me. Apparently she just couldn't or didn't want to. She actually said she didn't want to. But yea, I did get an 'I love you' from her which relieved me a bit, but she was still just not talking to me.

After awhile of this whole thing which I hated she finally starts to talk to me. She says we need some time apart..What a lovely thing to say after not saying anything at all right? But she's saying something so I'm going to run with it. After she mentions this we start to talk about it, I tell her that if space is what she needed, then she should've told me from the start. This whole space idea didn't sound to bad to me actually. I mean of course after I knew what she meant by apart. If she meant she wanted to break up for awhile or something that wouldn't have gone down to well for me. But she stated, "I don't need a month. Just a day. Or maybe even just a few hours everyday. Why must we be texting 24/7?" And my answer to that is that we don't have to be, no one is forced to do anything here, besides respect each other which is more like a rule then option, I believe. Plus, if this space is going to help our relationship, then so be it. I only want to be closer with her, I only want to grow to love her more everyday, and I would love the same to happen with her towards me too.

Well moving on with the story. We talked about this space thing, we both became clear of what that space was, and I told her if she needed some space from for a bit, some time to go away and actually miss me, then she can do as she pleases. As conservative as I may be, I don't ever wish to control her. The whole point of sharing her life with me is to be free and happy with me, not controlled by me. She said she needed to be able to breathe, so I agreed that this is necessary.

After saying we loved each other we stopped talking for a bit. She went about her school and getting home to do her work while I..sat around pretty much. lol I wasn't in the mood to work, Iwas still a bit angry with her, or bitter from the whole not talking thing. Well after we did our own thing for like 2 and half hours..yes, I know it doesn't seem like much time at all apart, but it should still count if it felt like a long time right? I think so..Ash texted me back saying hello. 20 min. later she texted me saying she was guessing I was asleep. She was right..lol But then when I woke up from my nap I answered back.

We talked a little bit by text, I was still pretty nonchalant but yea. To my surprise, after texting for a little bit she calls me. It was cut short because I needed a really bad bathroom break, but after that I called her back and we continued to talk for a bit. No we didn't talk for an hour and a half, and we didn't have the best conversation of our lives, but we talked. We were both loosening up again, me from my bitterness of the whole argument, and her from her not being able to breathe and talk to me. She asked me during our conversation if I was happy she was actually talking to me again. I really was happy she came back to me, because it felt like she was gone for that bit of time she couldn't say a word to me. I'm really glad we were able to talk after this whole ordeal and work it out. I just hope from now on she will simply be able to tell me what she needs or what she's feeling instead of completely freezing on. But anyways.

I make her happy!!! After we started talking again or a bit I asked her what was the first word that came to mind when she thought of me. I told her not to think, just spit it out. She said happiness. B) I knew what it meant but I asked her to explain anyways and it meant that besides what I may believe, I make her happy. That made me very happy, I'm glad that besides all of my imperfections, which I have a lot of i think..I still make her a happy girl.

Well that I think puts the cap on this chapter of our lives now. I believe we will simply grow stronger and closer from this, and I am pleased to say we are both very happy with each other and are deeply in love. In love with a passion like no other. We have a good grasp of what love is, and we will strive to make our love as perfect as we possibly can together. I LOVE YOU!

*Side thought- I wonder what the next chapter of our lives will be about..Hmm, I hope it's exciting, and doesn't involve fighting. Unless of course it's a wrestling fight. I don't mind those at all, those are fun. ;D

Life is waiting!

Insecure and sensitive, none trusting and skeptical, and attention deficit. I'm talking about a lost musician, a lost man, a lost nobody.

It's hard to believe he made this far in life. I believe he owes that to his family, who still look after him in case he falls into a ditch for not paying attention. He wonders to himself all time, "What do I do now? What is my purpose in this life?" But he mostly wonders what he has to do next. I mean, if he at least knew what it is he should do now, maybe someday he will simply run into his life's purpose while turning a corner.

But this kid is lost. He has no corner to turn, no street to walk down, no hope for a bright, successful, and fulfilling future. He is what you call the undead. He's dead, but still walking around like a zombie looking for his next brain to feed on.

In this point in his life, he should be running with his dreams. Looking forward to, and fighting for his heart's desires. But he isn't. The question is why. Well that's a simple one. He simply is what he is. Besides being insecure, none trusting, attention deficit, and a zombie; he's lazy as well. What a combination huh? He has some nice traits about him though, he's not all bad. He's an awesome guy to be around and hang out with. I'm not telling you the opposite. But none of those good traits are going to do himself any good if he keeps holding himself back being all the bad things that he is. Especially being the zombie part, that's just no good at all.

He needs to stop moping around, stop feeling sorry for himself, stop being insecure about himself and which path he should follow, and start moving.

Yes, life is hard. It's hard because your blind 90% of the time, and the other 10% of the time that your not blind your having things thrown at you so fast you could never have seen it coming. Life is like a maze with huge pot holes, quick sand, and roots that popping out of the ground ready to pull you under. It's filled with long, thick branches, and sharp poisonous thorns protruding from the walls ready stop you in your tracks. It also has other zombies roaming around in there looking for a life themselves, but needing your brains to do so. But, to put the icing on the cake, it's shrouded in a dense fog you can't see through. How you like them apples? But with all these booby traps and fog, you can still make it through. Life is hard and terrifying, but not impossible to live.

This kid has to gather himself together and start walking into this shrouded maze. It'll be difficult, but in that maze is where he will find his purpose. Battling through that maze is where he will find a meaning and find his true, heroic self slumbering inside his current dead beat self. And he won't be alone. He will have his family there always ready to help, he will have his love walking beside him to share this battle with, and he will always have me. He will be under my wings, and through my eyes he will see through the thickest of fog, and walk through the most impossible of paths.

So with all of this support beside you, forget about what you don't know and can't see. Focus on what you do know and can see. Focus on what you have, focus on where you want to be, and walk. Trust me, you will stumble and fall, you will get hurt and gain much experience in things you may not want to, but believe me when I tell it will all have been worth it. You will look back into the maze you walked through and say, "I may not be perfect, but with all of my imperfections I made it through all of that." And you will be proud to say you lived, and weren't stuck at the starting gates scared to jump into the race.

Let's go you dead beat, life is waiting for you!